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Lighter Moments

MARRIAGE SECRETS

My wife and I have many secrets to making a marriage last. Here are a few of
them.
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, for a little wine, good food
and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, and mine is in N.Y.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" So I suggested, "How about the
kitchen?"
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread-maker.
Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So, I
bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the
carburettor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "---- In the lake."
8. My wife is on a new diet, coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but
BOY, can she climb a tree!
9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!"